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The Inquirer

If you are like me, you are married to a GROWN Black man.

One thing that grown Black men don’t like is to be questioned. I get it. For many, they are operating in a world where everything they do is seen as suspect. If it’s not on the job, it’s the police. Think of all the settings where they encounter this.

The last thing they want is to be questioned by you! Your husband probably calls it INTERROGATION. While we trust them, we are often just curious about what they are doing. Knowing how they feel about it can help you soften your language.

Certainly, in the USA in 2021 we are often concerned (and that’s putting it lightly) about the safety of our Black man. If that is truly the case, make sure that you express that. Let him know that you have fears about who and what he may encounter in the world and how it can be harmful.

Think about the real reason you are asking. If you need him to bring something home, say that. If you heard on the news about an accident on the highway, send a text that says that. Change “where are you?” to “I need a favor…” or “I am checking on you because…”

Be mindful of what you say and how you say it. It makes life SO much easier! And your man won’t need to add you to the list of his inquisitors.


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